Somewhere in between worrying about rioters taking over capitals, my family’s health in the middle of a global pandemic, helping my daughter with school in the middle of the work day, and working on my day job to prevent childhood trauma, I accidentally threw away some of my good silverware. Throughout the week I kept noticing that even though the dishwasher was empty, there seemed to be fewer forks than there should be. Then one night as I was absent mindedly throwing something away, I happened to look in the trash and saw one of my forks in there all tangled with my napkin and food scraps. …
I have gone through a phase of obsessively sampling as many luxury beauty products as I can. Ok, I guess if it is something you just continuously do you can’t call it a phase. It’s part of my personality, my life’s quest. I am determined to try as many luxury beauty items for as little money as possible in my lifetime. If this sounds shallow, I’m also determined to prevent childhood trauma, but that’s my day job (see bottom of article for links to my books).
I am here to tell you that there are some products that are absolutely worth paying a little more for. Sometimes nice things actually do cost more. But there are some items that I continuously go back to, even after trying their significantly more expensive brethren. And most of them are available via Target curbside pickup! Turns out that for certain products, you can save your money and time and just go for the tried and true bargains. …
The book “All I Really Need to know I learned in Kindergarten” by Robert Fulghum came out shortly after I finished Kindergarten. I remember people talking about it and seeing it in stores and being confused. I had finished Kindergarten, and I was sure that there were many things I still needed to know. How to drive, for example.
Maybe my generation didn’t learn everything we need to know in Kindergarten, but there has been an increased focus on early childhood education in the last few decades, and I’m happy to report that there are lessons being taught now in preschool that might be exactly what we need to help this country end the pandemic. …
My first few holiday seasons as a mom almost broke me. I wanted so badly to be a perfect social media mom, with a picture perfect Christmas tree, perfectly wrapped presents and food network worthy treats. Instead of successfully accomplishing any of those things, I managed to become a raving lunatic who no one in my family wanted to be around. Things that I thought would be fun, like baking cookies, turned both me and my kitchen into a nightmare of messiness and disappointment.
The first year my kid had rehearsal for the Nutcracker in a theater downtown, I thought it would be a good idea to run to Target (which is on the other side of town) and find the exact color of wrapping paper I needed. I started crying in the car on the way to pick my daughter up because I was so worried I was going to be late. I started affectionately calling the last week of school before Christmas break my nervous breakdown week, because it was too much running around, too much making sure everything was perfect. …
Before I became a mom, I was one of those obnoxious childless ladies that advocated for kid-free sections in restaurants. I didn’t get it. Why do these little screaming, food-throwing creatures with sticky fingers get to ruin my fancy meals? I didn’t like kids, and I didn’t want to be around them unless it was by choice. Now that I am a mom, I still think kid-free sections are a great idea for restaurants, but for different reasons (sanity for parents). That may be the only thing the pre-mom me had in common with the current me. They say becoming a mom changes everything, and it is super cheesy and it sounds ridiculous, but there is no other way to say it. I got it. As soon as I became a mom I saw the potential in every child. …
Next week, I will talk about how sick leave policies can make life difficult for many working moms. The moms I’m talking about, and the moms most likely to read this blog, are the lucky ones. We’re dealing with jobs that at least have sick leave policies, and yes they aren’t great, but at least we likely won’t lose our jobs if we miss a few days of work. But there are parents in dire situations right now, and it is directly related to the uncontrollable pandemic we are dealing with. Let me tell you a story.
A young mom in a small town in New Mexico tests positive for Covid-19. She has struggled her whole life, her parents aren’t really in the picture, and neither is her three-year-old son’s dad. Despite all of this, she has recently been pulling herself together and has found a job at a local chain store. It doesn’t have benefits but it pays for her small apartment and puts food on the table. After testing positive for Covid-19, she is asked to quarantine. She explains to her doctor that she cannot quarantine because she will lose her job if she misses two weeks of work. Further, if she misses even one paycheck, she will lose her apartment and has nowhere to stay. She is also worried about how she is going to access food without a paycheck. Not having any other options, and not feeling any symptoms of Covid-19, she decides to go to work. Not out of malice, not out of carelessness, but because she doesn’t know what else to do. She doesn’t want her son to be homeless, and she knows from previous experience how long it takes and how difficult it is to qualify for government housing support or help with food. She’s also afraid that if she loses her job, she will also lose her childcare and her son is thriving there. So, like most moms, she puts her kid first. …
I realize that so far I have complained a lot about various aspects of life in 2020, but the truth is there are a lot of things I really truly love about this situation. First of all despite my complaining, it really does feel like a gift to get to spend so much time with family and focus on what is really important in life. There are many times I have felt like we are truly living this year, more than any other time in my life. When this is all over, I hope we don’t go back to the normal that we had before. I know I’m doing a lot less than I was a year ago. Having work and school from home allows me to sleep later. I’m not traveling for work, I’m not even leaving the house most days. I don’t miss wearing tights. Or heels. …
Several years ago I came up with an awesome book title, “Scheduling my meltdown”. I haven’t had time to write that book, or even really to schedule my meltdown, but I think it is something all of us do. We show up strong. We hold it together. We get through those meetings, we hug our kids, we support our spouses, and we quietly, calmly go cry in the bathroom. But even the ability to cry alone in the bathroom is a privilege not seen by moms of toddlers. …
A few months ago, as we were discussing marketing of our new book, Attack of the Three-Headed Hydras, my co-author called me to tell me he had a great idea.
“You should do a moms vs. hydras blog.” he said.
“That’s a great idea,” I said, “but I don’t have time.”
He laughed and said, “Why, is it because you are currently a full time mom, pandemic-era home-based teacher, co-director of an institute and book author with writing assignments? Surely you can cut out bathroom breaks and let some laundry sit and write a blog.”
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